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MEGDAL FOR GM: Mets Granted Permission to Speak with Me

Following an intense two-hour negotiating session, the New York Mets were granted permission to speak to me about their now vacant General Manager position by my wife.

In exchange for receiving permission to seek the grueling job directing baseball operations, I have agreed to go apple picking on Sunday.

The choice was not an easy one. Despite repeated opportunities, my wife could not explain to me why we should pick enough apples to fit in a huge bucket, since she eats about three apples a week, I don’t eat any, and our daughter is only just starting on solid foods.

Vague promises of pies to be made later were also discussed, but never finalized.

That an agreement was reached at all speaks to the desire to find common ground on both sides. My original position was that even if I am paid half of Omar Minaya’s 2010 salary of about $1 million, I’d be able to purchase however many apples my wife desired.

This was unacceptable to her, with things like “quality time” and “photo opportunities” cited. Never mind that for a six-month-old, the only thing she is developmentally able to do to an apple tree is smile at it.

Meanwhile, my wife graciously moved from her original asking price in exchange for granting the Mets permission to talk with me: Jose Reyes. Her position stands in stark contrast to that of the Florida Marlins.